Death is unpredictable and inevitable, especially for a life that got snuffed out too young, leaving unfulfilled dreams and aspirations, making it even more painful for friends and family. Managing grief becomes especially all the more important. In an interview with HT, Dr Rajiv Mehta Vice-Chairperson of Psychiatry at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, explained grief management.
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Understanding grief
Grief is complex to get a grip on and it can feel overwhelming. Dr Rajiv Mehta explained the 5 stages of grief. He elaborated,“ The grief is divided into 5 stages viz denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Denial means the person denies the loss and believes it to be false. Anger is the reaction of guilt or blaming the deceased for not taking proper care leading to death. Bargaining is doing or sacrificing something to get the deceased back. There are depressive feelings and eventually one accepts the reality to move on. These stages may vary or overlap from person to person.”
Grief is a deeply personal experience that varies greatly from person to person. Dr Mehta added, “The intensity of grief also depends on the manner of loss, age of the deceased and grieving person, degree of attachment with the lost one and the available support system. The grief in case of the sudden death of a young relative or friend may be severe and there are a lot of difficulties in coming to terms with the shocking reality. There are more chances of violent denial, clinical anxiety depression and self-harm attempts. The bereavement process may take longer to settle down or many times, the void is felt lifelong, especially near the festivals and anniversaries.”
How to cope
Coping with grief, especially in the case of a shocking, sudden young death, requires time. Dr. Mehta outlined the steps for processing this difficult experience.
1. Accept your feelings. Humans can’t be robotic; there is nothing wrong with being sad, being angry following a loss. Accepting own feelings as a natural human response fastens the process of normalization.
2. In the initial few days crying is important. Visiting the memory lane is crucial, talking and sharing about the nature of the relationship with the lost one is a vital part of grief stabilization. Getting happy and jovial over past memories involving the deceased is natural.
3. it’s crucial to realize that the deceased was part of life but there are other life essentials too. Therefore fulfilling regular responsibilities and taking care of own health are significant to coping with grief. Even if undesired one should make an effort to have a proper diet, sleep and self-hygiene. Simultaneously helping other connected individuals to grieve is helpful to overcome grief faster.
If still, the grief is troubling or increasing in intensity, it’s preferable to meet a mental health professional.
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